Well there is roughly 20 minutes left before the clock struck midnight and it's official Malaysia's 59th Independence Day, yepee!! I am not entirely sure what is the point of writing this post but one thing for sure it might not have anything to do with Independence Day haha.
20 minutes more and I can start my T-minus 26 days until the start of third semester in UniKL Micet. What do I feel? Well... I'm constantly trying to push my lazy ass to complete the lab report guidelines that I promise to finish at least 2 weeks before the 1st class so there is a battle with Le'Procastinator and so far I am not winning. Tomorrow, will absolutely be a better day! HAIT!
I don't fell any anxiety to face this third semester, I am not that worried about what kind of challenges I will face as I do not want to cram my thoughts with it. I just wish I won't shed a lot of tears next semester. I've only been here roughly 1 year, and without a doubt it was hard.
I didn't have the usual case of home sickness but loneliness and a feeling of abandonment was there from time to time. This past few months I have found it very outstanding at how fragile a new relationship is. One word, one argument or anything, really, can bring you to square 1. Strangers.
This should not have been a surprise to me since when I was in Primary School, I also face this situation. Early darjah 1 I would have a lot of friends and at the end of that year, I'm eating alone. The cycle repeats until darjah 6. Looking back, I found it funny how my younger self was too oblivious to her surrounding that she did not care about how alone she is sitting at that canteen table, all she care was the curry puff is so delicious and definitely worth the money. Also, there is that High School Musical 2 movie she is looking forward to see so much. (continue on 10/09/2016)Not to mention, she had her imaginary friends and the world is too beautiful to be sad, there are birds to catch, fairies to search and more. In other words, my younger self might need to stay a day or two at Tanjung Rambutan because she was cray cray.
Now, I am facing the same situation but more sane and sensitive to my surroundings. One thing I realize is I attract the surrounding I think of. So, a positive outlook of life and the people around me is what I need to have and do. Somehow, I am relearning all the stuff I knew at secondary school.
I have to swallow the fact that people have a million sides that they don't show and that doesn't mean they are hypocrites. I have to widen my eyes and clear my visions to see that there are far more beautiful things in this world than there are ugly. Silence is golden. Mean people aren't always mean. Nice people won't always stay nice. Everyone is a working progress. People will label you and it is really your choice to prove them wrong and rip the label into pieces or do nothing. Either one is a good choice. Bad decisions can result into good outcomes. Fret over nothing. Keep those who wants to be in your company close but for the love of God, don't neglect a human being and cut ties with people. Don't. Smile, you look prettier when you are happy and stronger when you are hiding your problems. Orait mira?
3rd semester goal? Don't fight with anyone, HAHAHAHAHA. Keep Allah close to heart, fall in love with the Prophet, chase after HIM and be me. My secondary school me. Maybe, a bit better.