The 60' width Hijab

I know... I am a sinner, a hypocrite and I might also be a fasik. That is what I defined myself because I may seem nice,  alim and a practising muslimah but in actual fact I am none other than a sinner.
Who often times forget to repent but I've got to say Alhamdulillah because HE never forgets to open up my mind and give me hidayah.
Ya Allah thank you.
Assalammualaikum hahaha I've become too dramatic I immediately forgot to give Salam ;)
What about the title, amirah?
Well the title is about how I am in awe with girls who wears the hijab of 60 width (bidang 60). I, as a girl, would often find these girls not only pretty but brave to potray islam eventhough some of them might be like me. A repenting sinner.
I have a dream.. A dream to dress up like them. Wear a 'bidang 60' hijab, jubah and sneakers and then go out and dakwah in character. Alhamdulillah Allah had provided me a part time job with good allowance that will insyaAllah help me to achieve this dream of mine.
But day by day I'm haunted with the thought that I am not suited to wear such cloth because in truth, I am a really weird girl who often act randomly and do crazy posses and also very gedik (improper) and loud. So I am worried that I would still act like this even when I am wearing this type of cloth and I AM SO WORRIED that I won't get to potray and become the modest, humble and silent muslimah I've dreamed.
Why? It is because when I don't understand something, regardless of my classmates annoying glares, I would (sometimes) never hesitate to shoot up my hand and ask a question. Even when it is an obvious question, even when people would think I am stupid for asking such question. Of course a pious and silent muslimah would wait until the class end and THEN ask the question but to me it is now or never. Plus, in my point of view doing that would only help myself and not other people.
I am loud and would often become crazy among my friends and blabber nonsense to my friends in public. I am inapproriate at times, gasping loudly and overreacting over little things. Now tell me, what would people think when seeing a girl wearing very loose clothing and yapping nonestop like a chihuahua that had just drank caffein... Not good right??
Not only my dream was blocked with that haunted thought of mine but it is also because of 'some' people who thinks I am not suit to wear such cloth. They would often say " You wanna wear like this but your attitude is like that". "No need to wear abaya laaa, such a hassle just wear loose jeans laa" and many more. Some comments are positive with a hint of sarcasm but some just knock my down :\
sometimes these people make me believe that I need to correct myself first before donning such cloth. Yet it would take a SUPER LONG TIME for me to become a pious muslimah until I wear these type of cloth. Why can't I take these garments as a little reminder for me to make sure I EARN this modesty? Why can't I just take this clothes as a step to become more pious? Allah did tell us to loosen our clothes and cover our aurah (not wrap) and lower our gaze.
InsyaAllah, insyaAllah with this type of cloth it will remind me to become more pious, more humble and more silent. Not to mention attract less men. InsyaAllah.
Therefore, regardless of what people say and what people demand and what are their point of view and what are MY OWN NEGATIVE point of view, I would not hesitate to spend my pay money to 'sadaqah' a few loose hijabs, jubah and socks to myself. Just remember Amirah to be 'sederhana'... Alamak sederhana dalam B.I ape? ooohh be moderate. Do not become pretty in the eyes of dunya but be pretty in the eyes of Allah.
May Allah, The Turner of the Hearts, turn our hearts to our religion and let our actions be considered sincerely to reach HIS mercy.
don't give up ya Habibti, dress to please Allah, dress to save your father and Danial from the HellFire and lastly dakwah people with a smile :)


From instagram: @deen_lover

I had a conversation with my Lord,
and what a wonderful conversation it was,
I let out every single bit of me,
The hidden parts that no one could see,
I laughed. I complained. I hoped. I told Him of my pain.
I talked and talked and talked.
Or rather my heart did,
And when I could say no more,
My tears finished of what was thought by my core,
How strange, I laughed out to Him,
Ya Rabb, here I am chattering away,
of things You already know,
But that is the beauty of this relationship,
The King already know what the slaves desires,
Yet He cherishes the slave and lovingly listens to the sigh and cry,
And you may, did I get a reply?
And the answer is yes.

I miss these moments. :')



Seorang lelaki bertemu Aisyah (r.a) dan bertanya "bila aku akan tahu diriku sudah beriman?"
Aisyah (r.a) menjawab "apabila engkau sedar diri engkau seorang hamba yang zalim"
Lelaki itu bertanya lagi "dan bila aku akan tahu diriku adalah seorang hamba yang zalim?"
Aisyah (r.a) menjawab "apabila engkau rasa diri engkau seorang hamba yang beriman."

MasyaAllah this just shows that we should never be arrogant and never ever thought that we've become pious. Never stop repenting, dear Amirah, just don't stop. You've got more sins than everyone else in the world, you know why and so strive to get away from Hell. Only then would you have Jannah.



Assalammualaikum, dear Amirah let me share a story about your dad hahaha.
As we all know his name is Ramli bin Ahmad, born in 1968 to loving parents who resides in Pendang, Kedah (I wonder if I got that right). Your father is a wonderful man, often surprising us with his humble, caring , loving and kind posture. I could not really say that you have a close relationship with your dad if I'm gonna compare it with your mom (because I share a lot of secrets with her) but I will say this: you love him... ALOT.
Once upon, I got this idea to wrote ALL my notes (chemistry, physic, bio and etc) in small pieces of paper so that I could bring them around easily and use my free time wisely. Furthermore, I decided to wrote them all in coloured pens. At that time I had a set of stabilo pens in which is not complete because I had lost/misplace a few pens here and there.
Therefore, I decided to whatsapp my dad to ask him to buy me the pens. I could have asked him to buy certain colours that I had lost but being a greedy and immature child, I asked him to buy the whole set (secretly slapping my immature self). Of course he replied "huh" but I persuaded him by telling him why I needed those pens. ("for SPM" lol evil girl)
A few days passed and one evening my dad came home with a plastic bag that looked heavy and placed it on the table. He said it was for me and with a questioning look, I open the plastic bag and found (around) 57 coloured stabilo pens. What had me so surprised is that it wasn't in a set but each and every pen had a price tag on it.
Then my dad explained to me that he went to every shop and he couldn't find it (later on I found out that they did not sell it in Malaysia, huh) and so he went to Rainbow (a bookstore) and bought each and every coloured stabilo pens. He even told me that he tested it all to make sure they could be used.
Upon hearing this my mom scolded me and then my dad for wasting so much money. (she didn't knew hehehe) I felt so guilty that I immediately offered my dad a deal, which is to not give me any birthday present next year and yes this is the most pathetic deal ever but I didn't know how to repay his kind gift.
I also wrote a mental note to strive hard for my SPM, so that I could get straight A's.

A few days ago, I had just finished answering my last SPM paper (Bio) and when I remembered this incident... I wasn't sure if my effort was enough to get straight A's... I for sure do not know what my result will be but after this incident it kind off opened my eyes to see how Allah had blessed me with a caring and loving father.
Though I may not succeed in this wordly life, I might as well repay his good deeds by being a good daughter, so that I wouldn't burden him in the after life. He doesn't desereve a touch of fire from Hell at all after what he had done and sacrificed for our family. Same goes to my mom. Therefore, do remember to be a good daughter Amirah, it's the least you could do. =)
Other than that stabilo pen gift when he had gotten the news that my mom is pregnant with me(or to be more specific: amirah in the placenta, surrounded by the endometrium wall and located in the Vagina) he worked day and night and most of his pay is stashed away to buy a car because it was his dream goal to bring me home in a car, instead of a motorcycle. =')
Hahaha so sweet ^^
You know what, eventhough he may seem strict and stressed all the time, you should just take a moment and observe him. From the wrinkles around his bloodshot eyes, the grey hair that is slowly creeping between the black ones, his lips that are often in a thin line and his wizened structure. Only then would you realize how old he is getting and how little time you both have left to make each other happy.
So do it, you immature and greedy girl, make him happy and make him proud and may Allah continue to protect this man from the whispers of Syataan and the false stories of Dajjal and provide him a house in Jannah, near Allah. Furthermore, let him enter it without a touch of fire from Hell.

The 17 year old Amirah

I eat but would often feel empty, I laugh at my sister and my mom's sarcastic jokes, I make bad decisions that turned out to make me a better person, my optimism had my mom worried, my depression is what I'm fighting constantly, I believe in Allah so much to the the point that I'm not worried going out all alone, I love my little sister and brother alot, I love my mom and dad too, I'm often thinking of doing certain good deeds but sometimes does not accomplish it, I can't let go of my past (like an argument or a fall or any stupid stuff that I did), The ones that I love the most are the ones that hurt me the most and I can't get enough of them, I care about my friends alot, I do things that people don't expect me to do, I want to put Allah frst and everything else secondary, everyday I find myself in love with Islam, I wish to become a better muslimah, I value honesty and a personality that is not fake therefore I won't stop acting like myself, my friends say I'm a friend that is so childish yet mature at the same time, I hug people who are sad instead of asking them why they are sad, I constantly admire women who wears ' tudung labuh ' and abaya because they are very modest yet pretty at the same time and my dream is to dress like those women, I want to go to Turkey badly, I want to eat now, I want to go to Mecca to purify myself, I'll sleep at 9/10/11pm and wake up at 1/2 am (sometimes I think Allah is telling me to do Tahajjud), I'm obsessed with the sky, I love Allah and wish to know more about Nabi Muhammad and now I shall go eat.




berkata Ibnul Qayyim al-Jauziyah, "Allah SWT cemburu terhadap hati hamba-Nya yang mengabaikan cinta, harap dan takut kepada-Nya, dan ada sesuatu yang lain di hatinya selain Dia."

(I do not understand why is it I'm finding this saying to be so cute)

From instagram @gemsofjannah

Every affair, every matter in your life is decreed by your Lord, Most Merciful.
Everything He does, everthing He allows, He knows the wisdom behind it.
Everything that He holds back, that He prevents, is an act of wisdom.
Certain things He will grant, things He knows are right for you, whereas others He won't grant so hastily because it may cause more harm than good.

So much time is spent worrying and fretting over what we want, yet little time is spent asking Allah for what is best for us.
The specific things which we ask Allah for today, how do we ascertain we will be content with them in ten years time? We don't.
Hence there is much wisdom in asking Allah not for what we want, but for what He considers best for us and our circumstances.

Do not be disheartened by a delayed response or a prayer not granted in the manner that you hope for.
Know that He is Most Wise and knows what will suffice you.
He knows what you are seeking before the desire enters your heart.
Our judgement is often clouded by emotions, whereas Allah's judgement is always just, forever fair.

Learn to trust His judgement.
If He knows any good in your heart, He will give you better than that which was taken from you.



From instagram @muslim.daily

��Follow the Sunnah, not society��
Our society nowadays is messed up, like yesterday when I was coming home from gym and waiting at the bus stop for like 15/20 minutes just reflecting on everything I was seeing. Saturday night and Friday night as you may know are party nights for the British people, As I was waiting at the bus stop all I could see was men and women coming into to town dressed ready for a party.
People say that muslim women are oppressed, but I say the women in the west are the ones who are oppressed. They're oppressed by the views of society, they dress and they act to please society and to fit into society. Like yesterday in town all you'd see is women in quite revealing clothes and high heels on a cold winter night, i just don't understand how anyone with any sense would wear such things on a winter night, they can hardly walk in the high heels, they're freezing cold in their dresses yet they still wear them, why? Because they're oppressed by the views of society and the views of Men. After midnight they go home drunk hardly knowing what has happened to them. Are these the British values that David Cameron wants to teach us Muslim?
Our women choose to cover up because they have the freedom to cover up and that is the command of Allah. If islam really was oppressive towards women then why would the majority of new reverts to islam be women? No one forces these women to revert to islam but they choose to because they see the truth behind Islam and how it frees them from the shackles of society and liberated them. No wonder islam is the fastest growing religion in the world.
Just remember, it is not the cloth that oppresses the woman, but it is the illiterate mind. We live in a society where some women are paid to be naked whilst others are fined for being covered. We as Muslims follow the commands of Allah, the sunnah of the Prophet peace be upon him, and the sunnah of the Sahaba, not the sunnah of David Cameron or Obama.


.... ? ,

You know what? Every single time I look at the world and my life, I could never say anything more than "Alhamdulillah..for Islam"

Alot of netizens might assume that our religion is the most obnoxious, most... Yeah can we just throw every bad word in here? It's because I literally forgot what all those people said... But whenever I look back at my past and trying to peek at my future... I am forever and ever grateful to know that it is my religion that helped me to get through those problems that I had faced and also will face.

One of the verse in the Quran that have helped me through my dark era is "Allah does not burden any soul with more than he can bare." {2:286} =) this verse thought me that whatever problems I'm facing right now is something that I can overcome, this verse gave me hope and confidence that I can head down this mountain and climb back up again, not easily of course but I'll complete this task for sure with HIS help because He had said : "and HE found you lost and guided you" (surah adh-dhuha 93:7)



Sometimes I just want people to hear my problems,
without ever judging me,
but those type of people are so hard to come by,
and then I remembered I have Allah (swt)

Sometimes I want people to understand what I am going through,
give me support and take their time to understand why I chose this drastic decision,
but those type of people are so hard to come by,
and then I remembered I have Allah (swt).



To me: Love is like the sky.
No matter how somber the weather may be it is an axiom that after every heavy rainfall the sun would always shine and after the roseatte rainbow started to fade, a tempest may arrive then this cycle will repeat .
How is this related to love? I guess it just shows that when we broke up/get rejected by somebody everything would turn out bad and sad but, yeah, after learning how to forget we would surely fall in love with another human being and this cycle will repeat because just like how the sky is a part of nature, falling in love and wanting to be love is a part of the human nature.
We're all ready to let down our walls and let him/her ensconce theirselves in our heart comfortably cause we can never fight this ardor feeling and we as humans, no matter what gender you are, would always be ready to sacrifice a piece of our own soul just so that we could enscribe our name on top of "the one and only's" heart. Yet, sometimes we failed and here comes the thunder!! "Oh boohooo she/he doesn't like me uweekkk TㅅT" but hey remember that the rain is just an impase in your life, like I said you would forget them, move on and fall in love again.
17 Years living in this world, I've not only learn that love is like the sky but love is about loving Allah first because even if it rains I could atleast appreciate the droplets of water falling from the sky and the free nature orchestra. Then when it shines, I could appreciate the azure cornflower sky more than I do before.
I've also learnt that after reaching the zenith of my life the next route is going down and with Allah's help and love I am prepared. 
Hahaha, sorry I change my answer: love is about putting Allah first ;)


Go and solat pleasee...

Assalammualaikum Amirah ,
it's kind of sad for me to know that you yourself, sometimes, refuse to do solat. Yes there were days where I won't complete my 5 tasks.
Amirah, dear, if you refuse to solat because you did something bad before praying then it would be even better if you go and take wudhu' and solat.
If you think that you are not worthy to pray to Allah because you're a sinner. Then you should know that Allah love HIS  slaves who sins and repent.
There were times where I thought that asking for forgiveness is a waste of time because I know I'm going to repeat it again and I know I'm not sincere. Somehow or rather I would always question myself whether HE is tired of forgiving me but alhamdulillah Allah is never tired, never.

To even think that HE would get tired is wrong because I've underestimate him. Humans may get tired of one another but Allah would never get tired of you from repenting until the day of resurrection comes.

So amirah, please go and solat. Even when you've done 'IT' again just go and solat. Even when you know that you are not sincerely praying to HIM. Just solat. Even after you've done and you don't know what to ask for. Just go and solat.

Just go and solat amirah and believe that after performing it, your day would go on well. Yeah, something might go wrong and someone might test your patience but if you could defeat the syaitaan to solat and sujood in front of Allah than you could get through every problems and you shall face them with bravery, patience and without the slightest thought of giving up.

If only everyone could see the beauty in solat they would never missed it. =(

So pray now amirah or pay for your sins later in hell.


A new life (?)



(have this girl gone crazy or what?)

lol no lah.

It's just that today, Allah suddenly opened up my heart to install blogger in my phone as I felt like continue writing things out instead of putting them all in a bottle and ensconce it in my heart so that it could eat me up.

But what I found is all the published entries from my 13-14 year old self.
I just can't stop laughing. Omg!! Hahaha the next photographer?! What is with all these-literally- edited picture (though I have to admit they are pretty nice) and all those whiny posts about puppy love and boys and how ugly you are and friends. (I save them as draft because it is too embarrasing)


Dear Allah, if you let me travel to my past, all I want to do is to give my 13-14 year old self a high five.

It is because you, my dear-whiny desperate for love and boys attention- prefer to call herself ugly- girl, I've become more confident and less desperate for boys today.

Alhamdulillah, I am happy now ^^,  I feel like I am pretty now and the only attention that I'm craving for is Allah. Though there were times I waver from my real attention to live in this world, Alhamdulillah, He never failed to guide me back to Him.
Dear 13-14 years old Nur Amirah Adriana, I wish I could tell you that life is so beautiful when you put Allah first. You could really appreciate yourself easily. All the flaws and all your perfections.
I forgive you, my dear younger version, for your desperation to cling to this dunya, for your clumsiness, your whines and those photos of you exposing you aurat and not wearing the right attire. =} (deleted!)

You've done mistakes that InsyaAllah I'll never repeat. You've made bad choices that have thought me how to choose wisely and all those times you've called yourself stupid and ugly... I forgive those times too.

Now you should know, my dear, that you've grown to be a wonderful, smart, tall, and cute/pretty girl. Still a bit clumsy and sometimes thoughtless but insyaAllah she will change just like how you changed. For the better.

You've done a great job Mira Driana. Now its TIW2SBC to take over the steering wheel.
Assalammualaikum ^^