1. Use my power and money to pay hackers to hack into multiple websites of sexualizing Malaysian women, irregardless if they wear hijab or not wear hijab, reveal the identity of the admin and bring them to justice.
2. Revise the law and regulations of reckless driving due to alcohol. Work with countries like Sweden, New Zealand, Italy, basically any country where majority of the citizens consume alcohol and do research on what are the best regulations and SOPs that can be applied to Malaysia.
I would also collaborate with the Statistics department to do quantitative analyse on the death and car accident rates linked to reckless driving and the statistic regard to substance abuse. With these results, my theory is substance abuse often link to stress and mental health issues, hence I would advocate for more mental health talks, set up more mental health clinics to help all Malaysians.
3. Work closely with the multimedia team to advocate for loving the color of our skin, reducing the ads that promotes fairer skin, and reducing the issues of colourism.
4. Promote the stories of the minor ethnics in Sabah and Sarawak, explore and open up the lost culture of these ethnics.
5. Promote understanding of sex education, reveal the curriculum objectives and topics that will be thought. Since most of them misunderstood that sex education just learn about sex positions. This subject will not be teaching in secondary school but will be made mandatory to all diploma and degree students.
6. Revise and investigate kursus kahwin, would need more education courses for these educators so that they won't lari dari topik and only teach sexual relevant contents.
Tuesday
22/06/2020 i wish to never forget this.
22/06/2020
There are some days where I felt a sense of peace and redha with how my life turned out and then they are days where I needed to try very hard to not wallow on my losses. Often times, the only time I would win in the later part is by praying.
One thing I still fail to understand is why do I still pain even after escaping a relationship that has failed. I thought a lot about the past, and cried that day. I hated how my brain and heart still failed me to move on, even when I had an amazing person beside me whom loved me.
That night, I cried after Isya' until my eyes were sore and I had a headache. I felt a lot of anger in myself and I knew, if I were a character in a novel, readers would say I am a bitch and a dumbass for still not being able to move on and leading on my boyfriend. Trust me that I am fully aware my boyfriend does not deserve this. After going in and out of sleep due to my thoughts, I decided to do solat Istikharah, I wanted a break because he does not deserve this. He does not deserve to be treated like this, if he knew I've been battling this for months since we last had conversation, I knew he would be tarnished.
I wanted to leave because he did not deserve all of this, he deserved so much better than a person who still hasn't glued her right parts back together. But I prayed and asked Allah whether this was the right thing to do, ease for me if it is, and guide me if it wasn't. Minutes after making my duaa, my bf replied my whatsapp messages. Then, we had our conversation.
From me opening up my struggles, to us trying to find a midpoint between showing affections, to him telling me that he does love and he does care even though he doesn't, and reminding me that his hand is out here for me to reach... it's just my choice to reach it or not... and in conclusion, he isn't giving up on the complicated me, and this complicated relationship. I don't ever want to forget that.
After the talk, I felt refresh, we understood each other more and I had asked him to please don't expect that this would be the last conversation because I don't know when my demons will bite me in the ass again, I hope he understood.
One thing I want to remember was how gentle he was, sure he menyampuk my points but it was to iterate, he was so gentle that it fill in my heart with warmth and made me feel better again. He is indeed a great guy, I do know I love him, I just wish the remaining cling I had on my past would just let go soon.
There are some days where I felt a sense of peace and redha with how my life turned out and then they are days where I needed to try very hard to not wallow on my losses. Often times, the only time I would win in the later part is by praying.
One thing I still fail to understand is why do I still pain even after escaping a relationship that has failed. I thought a lot about the past, and cried that day. I hated how my brain and heart still failed me to move on, even when I had an amazing person beside me whom loved me.
That night, I cried after Isya' until my eyes were sore and I had a headache. I felt a lot of anger in myself and I knew, if I were a character in a novel, readers would say I am a bitch and a dumbass for still not being able to move on and leading on my boyfriend. Trust me that I am fully aware my boyfriend does not deserve this. After going in and out of sleep due to my thoughts, I decided to do solat Istikharah, I wanted a break because he does not deserve this. He does not deserve to be treated like this, if he knew I've been battling this for months since we last had conversation, I knew he would be tarnished.
I wanted to leave because he did not deserve all of this, he deserved so much better than a person who still hasn't glued her right parts back together. But I prayed and asked Allah whether this was the right thing to do, ease for me if it is, and guide me if it wasn't. Minutes after making my duaa, my bf replied my whatsapp messages. Then, we had our conversation.
From me opening up my struggles, to us trying to find a midpoint between showing affections, to him telling me that he does love and he does care even though he doesn't, and reminding me that his hand is out here for me to reach... it's just my choice to reach it or not... and in conclusion, he isn't giving up on the complicated me, and this complicated relationship. I don't ever want to forget that.
After the talk, I felt refresh, we understood each other more and I had asked him to please don't expect that this would be the last conversation because I don't know when my demons will bite me in the ass again, I hope he understood.
One thing I want to remember was how gentle he was, sure he menyampuk my points but it was to iterate, he was so gentle that it fill in my heart with warmth and made me feel better again. He is indeed a great guy, I do know I love him, I just wish the remaining cling I had on my past would just let go soon.
Wednesday
What relationship advice would you give to a younger version of yourself?
1. I believe even when I go back to my past to meet you, young mira, the circumstances will never change. You'll fall in love with the wrong person, & then have a relationship in which will break your heart. I just hope you'll find it easier to forgive yourself and find faster ways to not feel pain for so long.
2. You'll understand that after the break up, not everyone is meant to stay, so do make an effort to be kinder to those who are still in your life before both of your journey together ends.
3. If you don't know what to pray for, tell Allah about your dream man. Maybe not list all 10 characteristic in each solat, that can be tiring for yourself, but tell HIM at least one characteristic that you are looking for. Be consistent yeayyyy
4. I have to tell you that after this relationship with A you won't be able to love another person wholeheartedly, because you understood how to love yourself the most.
5. Coming out from this relationship also, you'll not only feel pain, you'll not only struggle with forgiving sincerely & moving on, but you'll know what kind of man you need to spend a lifetime with. Every single relationship will teach you that lesson.
6. The fastest way to forgive him is to understand that your ex-partner is a human being, hence he is flawed and so are you.
7. The fastest way to move on is by praying a lot of blessings for him... and then ask Allah to give you the same thing but multiple it by 10.
8. You cannot believe it but after a break up, you'll dealt with a lot of self-hate. You hate yourself for feeling sad, pain, and anger. You'll feel disgusted with yourself because it seems you are still clinging on to the past and false hope. Please, be gentle to yourself. Learn to love yourself until you won't feel the hatred anymore.
9. This self-hate and moving on battle are often lonely, you'll reach a point where you can't tell anyone about your pain anymore because people will only judge you for not healed yet. And they, unlike yourself unfortunately, couldn't see the effort you are putting in to heal.
10. Your fears are valid, your tears are valid, your side of the story are valid, don't listen to him that you are wrong.
11. Love is not the only thing that can save a relationship or make it work. Understand that if there are no respect, no compromise, if you both cannot accept one another flaws and above all, most importantly, tak sekufu.. sorry my dear, the chances for break up is high.
12. It's sad for me to tell you this, the only way you can appreciate God, your family members, your friends and yourself is when you have went through a break up.
13. Let your source of happiness be your own self, so that if another relationship fail, it'll be easier for you to get back up.
14. Another bad side effect of this relationship that I didn't tell you was... after this you'll realize everything is fleeting, none of it is permanent. Sure, you'll give the best treatment to the next partner as if in another moment he will be gone but the con is: in the back of your mind you know that separation is inevitable and sometimes you look forward to it. Not because you desire to be single. But you know it'll happen, and your poor soul just wants to get ready for it.
I am so so sorry that it'll be like that mira. I hope we can be okay soon.
2. You'll understand that after the break up, not everyone is meant to stay, so do make an effort to be kinder to those who are still in your life before both of your journey together ends.
3. If you don't know what to pray for, tell Allah about your dream man. Maybe not list all 10 characteristic in each solat, that can be tiring for yourself, but tell HIM at least one characteristic that you are looking for. Be consistent yeayyyy
4. I have to tell you that after this relationship with A you won't be able to love another person wholeheartedly, because you understood how to love yourself the most.
5. Coming out from this relationship also, you'll not only feel pain, you'll not only struggle with forgiving sincerely & moving on, but you'll know what kind of man you need to spend a lifetime with. Every single relationship will teach you that lesson.
6. The fastest way to forgive him is to understand that your ex-partner is a human being, hence he is flawed and so are you.
7. The fastest way to move on is by praying a lot of blessings for him... and then ask Allah to give you the same thing but multiple it by 10.
8. You cannot believe it but after a break up, you'll dealt with a lot of self-hate. You hate yourself for feeling sad, pain, and anger. You'll feel disgusted with yourself because it seems you are still clinging on to the past and false hope. Please, be gentle to yourself. Learn to love yourself until you won't feel the hatred anymore.
9. This self-hate and moving on battle are often lonely, you'll reach a point where you can't tell anyone about your pain anymore because people will only judge you for not healed yet. And they, unlike yourself unfortunately, couldn't see the effort you are putting in to heal.
10. Your fears are valid, your tears are valid, your side of the story are valid, don't listen to him that you are wrong.
11. Love is not the only thing that can save a relationship or make it work. Understand that if there are no respect, no compromise, if you both cannot accept one another flaws and above all, most importantly, tak sekufu.. sorry my dear, the chances for break up is high.
12. It's sad for me to tell you this, the only way you can appreciate God, your family members, your friends and yourself is when you have went through a break up.
13. Let your source of happiness be your own self, so that if another relationship fail, it'll be easier for you to get back up.
14. Another bad side effect of this relationship that I didn't tell you was... after this you'll realize everything is fleeting, none of it is permanent. Sure, you'll give the best treatment to the next partner as if in another moment he will be gone but the con is: in the back of your mind you know that separation is inevitable and sometimes you look forward to it. Not because you desire to be single. But you know it'll happen, and your poor soul just wants to get ready for it.
I am so so sorry that it'll be like that mira. I hope we can be okay soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)